this week*  in doug**

*which is of course last week, january 22-29

**not really IN me, cause that would be kinda gross, if not poorly lit and hard to make out.

ahem. on monday i found out that i have been pre-approved.  not for some lame ass credit card or sweepstakes but for the JET Program.  I have made it along to the interview stage and though i have no idea how many poor bastards have been left weeping by the roadside on their quest to become the next gilkeson (or gladden if you're chromosomatically double X, not my bag per se, but you ladies, damn, keep up the good work).  I'd like to think that at least 2/3 of those suckers are out already. peace. on to double AA ball, next step the majors.

I'm excited about the interview and feel absolutely no pressure, i'm not even certain i will accept if i get in, and under this type of circumstance in the past i am as unflappable as Dwight from Sin City, though i live in a chromatic world, don't hallucinate and befriend the dead, and have never frenched a prostitute although i'm sure all of these things would help me land the JET gig. Seriously i am riding the fence hard on this one.  I very much want to globetrot but I know that I would miss L a bit more than i can imagine at this point.  Not even taking into account the pain i'd cause her, though she has told me to do what I want.

Tuesday I was supposed to have a quarterly review with my boss(es) regarding the state of the Text in seminary co-op land. I had to miss it though because i was recruited as a stop-gap at their northern branch because the lady that worked there 'had an animal crash through her roof' and couldn't come in. 

best. excuse. ever.

telemarketer lady "Excuse me sir but we'd like to take this opportunity to tell you about some great..."

me "I'm sorry lady but I'm gonna have to let you go because an animal just crashed through my roof."

wednesday was pay-day (score) and thursday i was supposed to have a make-up meeting with my boss(es) even though i already gleaned everything there was to know about the meeting from a few of the people who were there (sales were down, payroll was down, individual worker's hours were up, plans in the works to get textrush people tee-shirts so that customers can recognize us, etc.) and the word around town is that I might receive a raise.  we'll see i suppose.  the belated meeting never materialized and now that Jack is in the florida keys for the next 2 weeks i don't think it ever will.

Thursday night i actually did okay at poker, but had more fun discussing the semantics of Pirates of the Caribbean before the game got underway.  Next week's game should be more fun because we won't be playing tourney style if we have enough people, and Tom's dad might play which will be a gas since Tom himself is one bright dude, his dad must be a goddam genius.

Friday i got about 8 solid pages of writing done on a chapter of the novel i'm writing about which i won't say another word.  hype-machine power up!

and then lara left me for the sweet sweet indiana pastures and wedding gowns.  her friend is getting married in March.  man was yesterday dull without her.  bad dreams too. 

that brings us pretty much up to speed.  up to date?  a mixed metaphor in hand is worth two in the bush i always say. and there seems to be more things i 'always say' that i've never actually said, every damn day. alot of cuss words too.  all slander and libel, whichever one would get me a fatter law-suit. favorite fictional lawyer's name?:

Tad Disingenuous